My Baby is Sucking up All of my Internet Time (new look and update) September 3, 2009

I really am going to try and start posting on this blog again.  I haven’t abandon it.  It’s just that Kenley (my lovely daughter) has been keeping me crazy busy.  Since her birth, I have finished my summer quarter teaching (though I still have my online classes) and I am home.

That’s right!  I’m being Mr. Mom.  My goal was to start posting everyday of the break (which really started yesterday since I had finals week and grading).

Yesterday, as some of my Twitter readers know, Gizmo (our once fuzzy cat), Kenley, and I headed over to the West side (Edmonds, WA) so that the boys could get hair cuts.  Gizmo gets his hair cut at the amazing City Kitty.  In Illinois, Gizmo would get so crazy that the cat groomers would want to put him to sleep just so they wouldn’t have to deal with him.  Adrianne is so good with him and actually thinks he is a really sweet cat (which is complete news to us.  He is usually a stinker).

Kenley was wonderful.  After we dropped Gizmo off, we went down to the Edmonds Waterfront.  I fed her lunch looking out over the sound.  I can’t wait to take her down there when she’s old enough to play in the sand and water.  As I said in my Twitter, I was 23 when I first saw the ocean (a story I should relate sometime), so I was pretty happy to have her there and so thankful that we live in this beautiful place.  I miss my friends and family from IL, but I will never miss IL.  I know Kenley wont remember our time at the beach, but I will.

Yesterday was also Shannon and my two-year anniversary.  Who would have thought that our whirlwind romance and marriage would take us all the places we’ve been.  I am so happy to have such a strong and amazing (not to mention – drop dead gorgeous) woman with me.  I am truly blessed.  We’re celebrating our anniversary tomorrow, so I will have more to update about later.

Due Date Weeding June 6, 2009

It’s the baby’s due date, but she doesn’t seem to care that much.  She likes it right where she is.  We went for a check up yesterday.  Everything was wonderful.

Last week our visit ended up taking us upstairs for a Non-Stress Test.  Baby Weiss had a bit of an eratic heartbeat, but we quickly found that she was just overly excited to have people fussing over her.

As soon as we hooked up to the machine, she jumped multiple times and though we stayed hooked up for 20 minutes, she had met her quota in 4.

Here’s a map of her heartbeat!

Today I have been out weeding the front yard.  We were told a few weeks ago (sorry for the lack of posts) that we have to move by the first of August.  Yep, smack dab in the middle of our baby coming.  We have already found a few places that we like, but we haven’t settled on one yet.

I should be posting more when work shifts in a few weeks.

Come on, Baby!!  Let’s go!!

Estate Sale – EEEWWW!! April 19, 2009

After the book sale we felt so adventurous we decided to hit some garage sales on the way home.

Now, I have a long love of garage sales, and, though Shannon has a less enjoyable history, I won her over back in Illinois to the ways of the treasure hunter.

However, we haven’t really had any luck since moving out here.  There are constant garage sales going on all around us, but we have been so busy that we miss them.  The ones near our house that we have ventured out to have been full of $30 coffee tables that look like someone soaked them them in water and used it as an ashtray or $7 baby clothes that come pre-soiled.

Garage sale people (come near the screen, please, I have some sage advice for you).  If you were stupid enough to buy the $50 baby outfit, from Ralph or Tommy or whoever, that your baby crapped in once and then outgrew, that is your idiot move.  If you put it in a garage sale, it should be 50 cents to a $1.  (okay, you can back off now).

So, I saw a sign for an Estate sale on the way home and quickly turned off in the residential hell of Lake City. We drove by the place a few times.  There were people standing out front, but the house looked like a double-wide from some slasher movie.  You know, the one where the family has a kid who like to bite the necks off chickens and is ready to move up to teenagers.

Finally, we decided to move in.  Estate sales freak me out from the get-go.  You’re walking around someone’s house and there is stuff sitting and hanging everywhere.  Price tags on everything.  We walked through the front door and I really did feel like I was in the house of Trailer Face (slasher film pending).  The place was dimly lit as we walked into the kitchen/dining room.  There was piles of stuff stacked all around with just enough room to walk through.  People were walking around picking through stuff with two fingers.

Nobody was buying anything.  They were too amazed that anyone would think this stuff could be sold.  Sitting among the $1 nick knacks was a gaudy tea set with a $600 price tag.  I looked up at a shelf on the wall to see a ceramic cat with the body and breasts of a woman.  She was standing in a slinky evening dress.  I was tempted, but I decided my collection of big breasted cat people was already complete enough.

By the time I moved to the front-room, Shannon was more then ready to go.  We got out of there quickly before any deformed kids to come up from the floor and pull us down.

Child Birth Class – Night One March 17, 2009

Tonight was the first night of our Child Birth class and it was everything I hoped for and more.  We found ourselves in a thrown together room on the forth floor of the local hospital with 7 other couples and the craziest lady I have seen in a while.  She was like a strange Aunt that had downed a lot of uppers and loved her access to the white board.  I should know, I have a few of these.

She walked around for a moment and screamed at the top of her lungs, “NINJAS, NINJAS!!!”

I quickly looked to the windows (the favorite entry place for ninjas).  Then I realized that she had a bit of a whistle in her voice and she had actually screamed, “Name Tags, Name Tags!!”

We all grabbed out tags and sat back down as she got into her spill.

The first thing she covered – Rectal Pressure.

Her advice – When the baby is coming, the woman will feel some pressure in the rectum.   This is normal, the baby putting pressure on the rectum, like a bowel movement, and that means you should push.

Then, she said “and they’ll clean you up and no one will be the wiser!”

After that she asked all of us why we were there and she wrote them on the white board in glorious green.  Our favorite – Piece of Mind.  She wouldn’t allow anyone to repeat, so thank goodness she started with us.  We answered, “To help my husband to understand what to do” and “To make my wife’s time in labor as enjoyable and as memorable as possible.”  If we would have went last, the only answer I could think of was, “to learn about the birth orgasm.”

Next, our host asked us to describe the animals we had seen giving birth and corrected every story that didn’t have the words, “The dog moved around and panted a lot.”  The first guy said that three of the pups he helped deliver were still-born.  Our teacher shut him down, “Whoa!  That’s unusual!  I don’t think we need to talk about that here.”

Then she said that Animals like to look at their own asses while they give birth because they don’t understand they are pregnant and really believe they are taking a huge dump.

Finally, she had the ladies do exercises while we men pinched their legs to simulate contractions.  When asked, Shannon told her that I had let up the pressure after the first pinch (which I had).  I replied, “I feel bad that I was hurting her.”  Our teacher then stood above me and rocked back and forth, sing-songing “Aw, he felt bad.”  “She’ll thank you for it.” She barked out.  ” It’s nothing compared to the pain she’ll feel during labor.”  She shoved her hand up in the air to represent a door.  “She has to learn to shut the door to her brain!  To make a barrier there through breathing, darkness, and calming music..”  She dropped down to her hands and knees and did a grinding motion. “And if he doesn’t pop out you get all doggie style and lift your pelvis to give him more room.   You all will remember that move, cause it’s called doggie style!”

This from the woman that a half hour before cupped her hands and whispered, “wear a pad.”

Then, she called the night over and we all rushed out.  Next week I will be taking a notepad, not for the class, but for the gems that fall from this woman’s lips!

Top Five Things We Did This Weekend March 16, 2009

1. Played Settlers of Catan on X-Box Live

2. Went IKEA and bought new Nursery stuff (pictures soon)

3. Ate Mexican at Axteca (I had the Pepe Platter)

4. Laid around, watched it snow, watched it rain, watched it melt, and did nothing.

5. Graded papers for my Axia Classes (blah).

Our White Christmas December 29, 2008

The last few weeks have been incredibly snowy here in WA.  Shannon and I were pretty close to trapped in the house for a few days.  We played a lot of UNO and watched a lot of X-files (Shannon bought me the complete seasons box set for Christmas – It’s good to be me!).

Our biggest problem was the driveway and the fact that we left our snow shovel and salt back in good ole IL.  We were told it never gets like this here.  We wanted to go home for the holidays, but tickets were around a thousand each.  Then the snow hit, so we would have been stuck at the airport anyway.

Overall, it was a great Christmas.  We hung out at home, exchanged gifts early.  Besides the X-files, I scored a sewing machine (I’ve been wanting one for a long time – I’ll post some pics once I start my Project Runway showcase).

Shannon scored some maternity clothes, some perfume, books, etc.  She gave better than she got this year.  She is an amazing wife!

Shannon heads back to work tomorrow and I am painting the baby’s room.  I’ll post some pics when I’m done.

Turning in Grades December 16, 2008

It’s finally here.  I am about to turn in my final grades and put my first professional quarter behind me.  Quarters are too short.  There was so much that I wanted to get to, but had to push it aside due to time constraints.  As I plan for Winter 09 I now have a little better of an understanding about how to arrange the schedule and focus the classes.

Of course, my Winter classes are a little different than my Fall ones, so I have to come up with new syllabi, but I have a pretty good handle on them.

Things to change:

- Take out all of Franklin’s bio and concentrate on other narratives of education.  Franklin is wonderful, but my students have such a hard time with his writing style.  Douglass worked well and (when I teach 80 again) will be my major focus.  Actually, another teacher is using my Douglass idea for her 80 class this quarter, which is a compliment.

- Stare Ender’s Game earlier.  We are doing Card in my online class next quarter.  This will make it interesting.

- Concentrate heavily on research methods in my research writing class.  I glossed them this quarter and feel that my class suffered a little for that.

- Stay up on grading.  This grading at the end is a hassle.

Ender of Line December 15, 2008

In one of myclasses this quarter we read and discussed Orson Scott Card’s Ender’s Game.  The book went over really great and our discussions and small writing worked well.

Most of my class started off hating the book.  Many of them had only read a few novels and no sci-fi.  However, as the class discussion went on, (like all great literature) most found something in the book they could grab ahold of and enjoy.

So, I went into grading these final papers with high hopes.  And, of course, I’ve been wading through horrible for the last two days.

Here’s my favorite line:

- Peter was extremely mean and he is always ready to kill.

Time to Hand out the Horrible Grades December 10, 2008

One of my English final exams is going on right now and the students are woefully unprepared.  It’s none of my doing.  I gave the prompt (to the in-class essay) out in the middle of last week.  We had pre-writing sessions as a class.  They could use their notes and their books. 

Yet, they keep troubling me with the simplist questions that show me they didn’t prepare at all.  They ask me questions about the readings they are addressing in the essay and expect me to have a conversation with them about texts they are supposed to know and be prepared to write about.

I really do feel this class has made some progress over the quarter, but they are not showing it today. 

They are defeating themselves.  They believe that the essay is too hard, yet it is a mixture of the essays and ideas that we have been discussing all quarter. 

On top of all this, many of them didn’t bother to show up.  Instant failures, since the portfolio and the final draft of their last essay is also due today.  Ouch! 

Oh well, I’m in for the treat of reading these in the next few days. 

I can’t wait!

They’ve Opened a Cheese Cake Factory in Mordor! December 3, 2008

Am I the only one who sees the Eye of Saroun at the top of every booth in the Cheese Cake Factory?